History always finds a way to repeat itself.
The fact that Dimitri told him to go out of fear for his safety only slightly lessens the pain. I consider myself privileged to have you in my service, Ashe, and I was happy to make your dream a reality. But we've lost too many people over the past six moons, and I'd sooner you not be among them.
It was a skirmish with the Empire, and his entire battalion died. Ashe himself had been injured; not dangerously so but enough for Dimitri to panic when Ashe's horse returned alone, followed by Ashe himself being held up by Mercedes.
His ankle is healed now, but Dimitri still begged him to go. Keep your life, Ashe. You have two siblings who rely on you for everything, they cannot afford to lose you.
Lonato is dead. He'd been planning to betray the Kingdom to mount his rebellion against Lady Rhea, only to die on a scouting mission before he could make the first move. Ashe helped bury him, asked Lord Gwendal to look after House Gaspard, and did his best to move forward.
It's not as if he was knocked down from a lofty position as punishment, he tells himself. Dimitri wanted you to live. He knows Arthur and Julie need you, he was concerned for your safety. But none of this changes the fact that they're back on the streets.
This time he swears he's not going to steal. Dimitri made sure he had enough gold to survive when he sent him off, but half the inns have been destroyed in the war and the other half are filled up. They stayed at a church for a while, until a group of mysterious masked people attacked and slaughtered half the people there.
Everywhere else is a mess. Bandit raids, Federation soldiers, Empire soldiers, more reports of those masked creeps. Faerghus simply isn't safe at a time like this. Nowhere is, of course, but Faerghus is being attacked on all sides now.
The gold is enough to keep them fed for a while, but everything's more expensive due to the war. Ashe realizes he should have been more careful with his spending one morning when he wakes up to find his coin sack almost empty.
He won't steal, though.
"We'll just have to make what we have last a little longer."
Then one day, Arthur gets sick. It rained recently, and they were wandering for hours before they found a church that would let them stay the night for free. Ashe knows something's not right when Arthur starts coughing, and within two days he's burning with fever and can't move.
Ashe doesn't even know where they are by now.
"Julie, how are we on herbs?" he asks. His sister sadly holds up the pouch.
"I couldn't find the ones you use on fevers. Just the kind Lord Lonato used to give us when we felt scared, or when you couldn't sleep." She looks like she's about to burst into tears. "I'm sorry, big brother." Ashe hugs her, patting her on the back.
"It's not your fault. You tried your best...medicine is just too expensive lately, healers are busy on the front lines, the churches are packed with people who need more than we do." Arthur's illness can be cured with herbs, most likely, other people aren't so lucky. "We'll just have to keep searching."
--
The search turns up nothing. Ashe loses track of the hours, or is it days? Arthur doesn't get worse, but he doesn't get better. He can keep food down, but he doesn't have much of an appetite. Sometimes he'll awaken from a deep sleep calling out for their long-dead parents, and Ashe will struggle to hold back tears as he cradles his head in his lap.
"It's okay. You're gonna be okay, I promise."
Julie's not sick, thank the goddess, but she's exhausted and scared. It's not the same as it was before Lonato, but it's similar enough that Ashe finds himself wondering just how much longer he can keep the promise he made himself.
--
"Ashe?"
A familiar voice cuts through the darkness. It's late, Arthur is sleeping fitfully, Julie is trying to bring his fever down with water from a stream, and they're almost out of food. He looks up into a familiar purple gaze.
"Yuri."
"What're you doing here? Last I heard you were a high-standing knight in His Majesty's service," Yuri says. "Don't tell me you of all people did something to get knocked down a peg." Ashe shakes his head.
"He told me to leave for my own safety, that's all."
"Oh." Yuri shrugs. "Eh, makes sense, I've heard King Dimitri's too compassionate for his own good sometimes. Guess I don't have to ask how you ended up like this, then. I mean..." Ashe closes his eyes.
"I dunno how much safer I'd have been if Lonato lived, given he planned to betray the Church and all." Ashe can't say for sure whether he'd have gone along with it to protect his father, or helped the Kingdom bring him down like a true knight. He doesn't like the sense of relief that Lonato died before he had to make that choice.
"Still." Yuri frowns as Arthur starts whimpering in his sleep again, followed by a coughing fit. "How long has he been like that?"
"I don't know. Days, maybe." Ashe suddenly feels ashamed. "We can't afford medicine, everything's so expensive because of the war, the inns are packed, the churches are full of people who need more than us...he's not getting worse, but-"
"We can't find the herbs he needs," Julie cuts in. "Don't blame Ashe, he just wanted to take care of us like he used to, before Lord Lonato." That makes it worse. Ashe's eyes prickle, and he turns away from the three of them. Forget simply trying to go into a church and ask for help, he didn't plan well, period. Not watching his spending, not mapping out a set destination before they left, not asking for help sooner.
I messed up. I promised this time it'd be different, I'm a man now, I know better, the war's no excuse.
A slender hand touches his shoulder, cups his chin, and he reluctantly looks up. Yuri's gaze is softer and more sympathetic than he ever remembers it being.
"I've been there."
"But you were always struggling, I was a knight, he gave me money, I-"
"Doesn't matter. I'm Lord of the Underworld and I've messed up with things that should've been easy as pie." Julie groans.
"Pleeease don't mention food right now, Yuri, I'm hungry." Ashe grabs the sack with the last of their food rations in it and hands her an apple. It's wrinkled and bruised, but she bites into it like it's fresh and juicy.
"Anyway," Yuri continues, "you just wanted to prove you could make it on your own and take care of them better this time, right? Without stealing?" Ashe's heart leaps into his throat.
"How-"
"Rowe told me, said he didn't want me falling in with a bad crowd," Yuri explains. "Think he was just mad I found an excuse to stay away from that place and go over to Gaspard more often. And that Gwendal was always willing to cover for me when I did." He tosses his ponytail over his shoulder. "The point is, you're not the worst person ever for screwing up. But you don't have to keep on going this way."
"What choice do I have? Even if a church takes us in, we'll have to leave eventually," Ashe murmurs. "I don't even know where we are by now."
"Less than a mile away from a Federation camp," Yuri says, and Ashe's stomach tightens. He's heard the whispers of the Federation planning an assault on Fraldarius territory soon.
"You're with them, aren't you."
"Yeah, the Empire hired me to kill Claude and he dragged me into their ranks instead." Ashe closes his eyes.
"You'd better leave, then. You might get in trouble if they see you talking to the enemy."
"What enemy? You're not a knight anymore, right? King Dimitri set you free, you're on your own now, and your brother needs help," Yuri says. "Look, we'll make sure you don't have to fight your friends."
It could be a trap. Yuri is sneaky, crafty, they don't call him the Savage Mockingbird for nothing. This could be a ruse to capture him and take him hostage to force a surrender. And even if it's not, he's still technically an enemy. Would he be welcome in a Federation camp when he's tied to the King they're looking to bring down?
But Arthur's sick, Julie's hungry enough to eat wrinkled fruit, and they're low on money.
And deep down, in spite of everything, seeing Yuri again warms his heart. He hasn't seen him since he saw him off the day he left for the Officers Academy, hasn't gotten any letters from him in years. He'd heard rumors about someone who looked like him lurking under Garreg Mach, but never got to confirm them before the Academy was closed.
They need this. They need somewhere to stay, Arthur needs medicine, they need food. And despite his cynicism and dubious morality and shady ways, Yuri is a good person. Ashe has always known it, believes it, and trusts him more than anything.
Yuri holds out his hand. Ashe smiles, blinking back his tears, and takes it.
"Thank you."
The next day, Arthur is already doing better. Julie's found a new eating buddy in Raphael. And Ashe is welcomed into the Federation's ranks with barely a raised eyebrow.
He's not a royal knight anymore, and he doesn't know what he plans to do about Felix or Dimitri or the others. But he's somewhere safe, and his brother and sister will be okay.