Prompt: Yuri is so strong and has had to put up wall after wall in order to survive. He can’t show any sort of weakness and it’s been this way for a long time.
I want him breaking down and crying or needing to ask someone for help/having to show weakness. Maybe he’s hurt, maybe it’s a traumatic flashback, or he’s sick and has to have someone take care of him. I just want him to accept the help of someone else. Who is up to you!
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Allergies were one thing. Sniffles and sneezes were embarrassing, but avoidable so long as he stayed away from animals with fur on them. But he'd been hit especially hard by a bug going around, so not only was he constantly sneezing or coughing but everything hurt.
And he knew it was his own damn fault. Four days of shut up, I'm not sick and refusing to stop working until he'd practically keeled over at his boyfriend's feet and had to be carried like a sack of potatoes over his shoulder. When he next woke up he was lying in their tent, on the bedroll, a damp cloth laid over his head.
He couldn't move, couldn't try to sneak out of bed even if he wanted to. The medicine had dulled some of the pain and relieved some of the sneezing, but he was so tired.
And Ashe, damn him, bless him, had slept in a chair all night so Yuri could have the bedroll all to himself. He'd given up his usual cooking and training and chatting with others just to sit by Yuri's side giving him medicine and feeding him soup and sponging his feverish skin.
He hated it. Not because he hated having Ashe around, but because he was too damn weak and tired to take care of himself.
Weakness was a death sentence for a guy like him. Someone who'd spent his life licking the right boots (among other things) to get by. Doing all sorts of morally dubious deeds to provide for people who needed him, stealing from the rich and giving to those who deserved it. Show even an ounce of vulnerability, even for a half a second, and you were fucked.
The last time he'd been in this vulnerable a position-
Mother blinking back tears, dabbing his head with a cold cloth, starving so she could give him what little food they had to keep him strong enough to live throug the night. Doctors refusing to treat him because she couldn't afford to pay them, while the ones who would work for free didn't know what to do about his condition. Himself lying on a pile of rags, shivering, wracked with pain and fever, asking Mother what the Goddess was like so he'd know when she-
Yuri shuddered, another coughing fit overcoming him, tears pricking at the back of his eyes as he gripped the pillow. Ashe was at his side in an instant.
"Here." He held a cup of water to Yuri's lips. "Slowly, now." After few sips of water the coughing stopped, but he was still shaking, struggling to push back the memories of that pile of rags and his mother's fears.
Regulus, my sweet Regulus...you're too young to meet her. Please...stay with me.
"You can go now," he said, "I'll just sleep the rest of the day." He couldn't stand it, the memories, the weakness, seeing Ashe look at him in such a way. "It'll wear off, you know." Ashe didn't budge. Instead, he helped Yuri lie down again and replaced the cloth on his head, then moved back to the chair.
Mercifully, Yuri dozed off.
--
He dreamed. Of foul-smelling streets, rats, spiders, the freezing cold. The cough that grew more and more serious until he couldn't even get out of bed, his mother selling her body until she hurt and still not having enough gold for the medicine. Feeling weaker and weaker, seeing his mother struggle not to cry. Regulus, please, you are all I have...
He woke up gasping for air, reaching for her only to grasp nothing. Tears streamed down his cheeks, blurring his vision, and he opened his mouth, wordlessly calling out for her. Mother, where-
"Yuri!" The voice snapped him back to the present. He wasn't lying on a pile of rags in a beaten-down hovel, he was in a tent on a firm bedroll, a sweat-soaked pillow beneath his head. His mother wasn't here, she was in a makeshift infirmary of the Abyss hundreds of miles away. Instead, Ashe sat on the bedroll beside him, concern etched on his face.
He tried to throw the covers over his head, he didn't want Ashe seeing him like this. But it was too late.
"This isn't the first time you've woken up in a panic," Ashe said, frowning. "You've been having nightmares again." His usual nightmares were much more violent and full of disgusting touches, memories that made him feel so disgusting he still wondered how someone like Ashe could fall for a guy like him. But he was used to those, enough to shrug them off and convince Ashe to go back to sleep.
He rarely dreamed of his near-fatal illness, of feeling so afraid.
Yuri clenched the sheets, trying unsuccessfully to stem the flow of tears. It was bad enough he was too sick to move and Ashe had to wait on him hand and foot, but he tried to avoid crying or even being sad in front of Ashe if he could help it. You already risk your neck trying to protect me even when I know you don't approve of my activities.
Ashe moved closer, gently dabbing at his cheeks with a clean towel.
"It's okay, Yuri." Ashe gathered him close, drawing his head to his chest, and he felt his already feeble walls crumbling. Ashe already made him want to feel safe enough to let those walls down on a good day, and right now...ugh, he hated to even think it, but he needed this.
"I almost died," he murmured. "I've told you about that time I got really sick and that old man saved me, right?" Ashe nodded. "I was hanging on by a thread. I was tired, everything hurt, I could barely eat...I was so sure the Goddess would come for me."
He swallowed, allowing himself to be held closer.
"I'd never felt so afraid in my life." He sniffled. "This...brought back those awful memories."
"Yuri..." Ashe's hand cradled the back of his head, fingers carding through his messy hair. "I'm sorry. I can't imagine how that must have been." Yuri instinctively clutched at Ashe's jacket, trying to steady his breathing.
"I never wanted to feel that way again." Ashe didn't say anything, just kept stroking his hair, rubbing his back, and Yuri couldn't help relaxing just a bit. You're too damn good, too kind, you're a perfect knight in shining armor even to someone as filthy as me. "But...with you here, I..."
"I am here," Ashe said. "It's okay if you're scared. But you won't die, you won't even come close to it. None of us will let that happen...especially me." And he was lying down, settling them under the covers. Yuri almost protested that Ashe would get sick, but if Ashe could be around him for the last five days and not so much as sneeze, he'd probably be fine.
"Don't let go," he murmured. "Stay with me, I..."
"I know." Ashe kissed the top of his head. "You're safe, Yuri. I won't let anything happen to you."
Yuri's tears gradually slowed to a stop, his eyelids growing heavy. Ashe's embrace was warm, and in a few hours it would be time for more medicine. Slowly, he let himself fall back to sleep.
He was safe. Ashe Ubert would make sure he always knew that no matter what.